cover 28
Barack Obama has opened up about the struggles he faced in his marriage to Michelle Obama during his presidency.
The former president admitted that his demanding back-to-back terms in office from 2009 to 2017 created significant strain in his relationship with Michelle. He shared how the pressures of being the leader of the free world impacted their connection, saying that at times he felt like he was in a “deep deficit” in terms of emotional support and balance.
Barack Obama, 63, revealed in a candid conversation with Hamilton College President Steven Tepper on Tuesday, April 5, that he had been in a “deep deficit” in his marriage to Michelle during his presidency.
He shared, “I was in a deep deficit with my wife. So I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things.”
Reflecting on their relationship in a May 2023 interview, the former president praised Michelle for her “forgiving” nature when it came to his shortcomings. He added, “Let me just say this: It sure helps to be out of the White House and to have a little more time with her.”
In 2022, Michelle Obama opened up about the challenges in her marriage to Barack, revealing that she “couldn’t stand” him for a decade when their daughters, Malia, 26, and Sasha, 23, were younger. She clarified that she wasn’t “being catty” by saying this.
Michelle shared that a successful marriage requires truly understanding and liking your partner, even in the tough moments. She said, “You could be mad at him, but do you still look at him and go: ‘I’m not happy with you, but I respect you. I don’t agree with you, but you’re still a kind, smart person.'”
She also emphasized that feelings in relationships naturally change over time and that couples need to continually invest effort into maintaining their bond.
According to Michelle Obama, “Marriage isn’t 50/50 — ever, ever.” She explained that there are times when one partner gives more than the other, saying, “There are times I’m 70, he’s 30. There are times he’s 60, (I’m) 40.”
Despite the ups and downs, she emphasized that their bond has endured, sharing, “But guess what? Ten years — we’ve been married 30 — I would take 10 bad years over 30. It’s just how you look at it.”
A source who once worked with the couple revealed that their marriage has been facing challenges. The insider noted, “They don’t pretend that they have this Camelot relationship. They’re not trying to present that they’re this magical couple.”
Despite rumors swirling about the former first couple potentially heading for divorce, especially after Barack attended high-profile Washington D.C. events like Jimmy Carter’s funeral and Donald Trump’s inauguration alone, another insider clarified that the absence of Michelle was simply due to her “no interest” in attending events in the U.S. capital.
Michelle addressed such speculation last month on her podcast, advising: “You cannot live through social media. Don’t let that negative energy enter into your space. These are people who don’t know you. A lot of this stuff is made up, and it does not feed you.”
